Tag Archives: Alberta

Climate Change; Literally

Well this sure ain’t Malaysia. Making a brief two-day stop in Hong Kong just because we wanted some real Chinese food, Diane and I hopped on the Air Canada flight to Vancouver a few days ago and braved the twelve-hour insanity known as flying into yesterday. Unfortunately, the rain in Penang stopped long enough for another stretch of bright sunshine just before we departed that left my dehydrated and over-exerted body with a slight cold. Sadly, flying makes dehydration even worse and it turned into laryngitis as we collected our bags in Hong Kong. Not exactly known for its blue skies and perfect climate, Hong Kong defied expectations with three incredible days of bright sunshine and 23 Celsius degree perfection. Accompanied by Diane’s sister-in-law who just happened to be visiting her parents, we embarked on a one day tour, ate some delicious seafood and hoped for the best with my cold as we waited patiently at the Air Canada gate. And that’s when we possibly broke the Guinness Record for the biggest climate drop in human history from between flights.

Ah, real coffee again

Ah, real coffee again

Having left Penang on a 30 degree morning (86 Farhenheit) only a few days earlier, we arrived at Vancouver International Airport too late to make our connection to Calgary thanks to delays on both ends of the Air Canada flight. Well slept but still tired, we cleared the new and improved kiosk based customs, collected our bags, and headed upstairs to an endless line with about one-third of the frustrated 350 passengers that also needed re-ticketing. Usually opting for Cathay Pacific when flying a transcontinental route, some greedy CEOs decided to change economy ticket pricing to a three-tier system like Air Asia and other discount airlines. Charging upwards of $500 to “upgrade” your fare class to one that allows seat selection, choosing the reasonably priced cheapest fare means sitting twelve hours on whatever shitty middle seat in the back of the plane they assign you and not bringing any checked luggage without paying a fee. Yeah, that makes sense on a 6,000 mile trip. So we chose Air Canada despite their strange departure time from both sides of the Pacific because you can pick your seat and connect to Calgary on the same itinerary. But even one minor delay of an hour leaves them struggling so badly on the other side that it’s worth making sure there’s several flights after the one you’ve chosen in case of lengthy delays. They sent those traveling further east than Alberta to hotels for the night with a whopping ten-dollar food stipend that might buy a donut and coffee and they re-booked us on a later flight to Calgary.

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Mass Exodus; American style

Oh, Canada
My Home and Native Land

flagOK, it’s not my native land but it was my home for seven years and it’s the place I feel most comfortable in, despite my New York City roots and over 15 years spent in California. Hearing a lot about all the Americans from Miley Cyrus to the guy next door claiming they’ll all leave and head to Canada with a Trump victory, I thought I’d shed some real insight on the topic since for me it’s “been there, done that“. First, my post-Super Tuesday commentary.

Obviously having zero effect on the outcome, my comments on the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election went unnoticed as America came one step closer to electing Drumpf as the nominee, setting up an almost inevitable march to the White House. Knowing most voters in the conservative and rural states that voted on Super Tuesday probably don’t know the meaning of “expatriate”, this no surprise. Hypocritical world reaction from the European world leaders went from shock to disbelief despite the disturbingly high number of similar xenophobic racists that dominate the political circles all across the continent. With many nations having already enacted anti-Muslim immigration legislation and other isolationist policies designed to increase nationalism and foster racist attitudes among the masses, Bloomberg’s on-line app recently commented how Drumpf actually fits right in with the new 21st century attitude of hatred, fear and racial segregation.


While saddened by the current state of world affairs, it’s no surprise that America appears headed on the same path despite being the most powerful and influential nation on earth. With trillions of dollars wasted on military actions disguised as anti-terrorism acts, perhaps the money would’ve been better used on education. Statistically speaking, America scores dead last in almost every class of scholastic achievement making it possibly the world’s most ignorant developed nation. Intentionally designed to keep an uninformed nation in the dark, the Republican party covets the citizens least likely to ever benefit from Republican pro-elite policies favorable to business and Wall Street by standing on morals and not issues. Every country has right and left-wing types and under normal circumstances, there’s always been enough sanity (and educated citizens) to prevent sociopaths from taking the reigns of the world’s most powerful job.

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I’ll have the Salami Laksa please

No, there’s no such thing as salami laksa. But if there was, Canada would be the place to get it. Wrapping up our third house squatting experience as homeless souls in transition, the weather continued to be miserable here in Calgary as the first day of summer approached. Probably the only city in North America where everyone is wearing down coats, sweaters and even gloves, the severe thunderstorm watches and arctic like rain got old after a day or two. Having reunited with some of our old co-workers for lunches and dinners, there isn’t much left to do so Diane chose to hit the mall. Thinking I’ll be doing enough of that in Penang to escape the heat and humidity, I opted for one last Canadian culinary supermarket tour.

imageReturning to our old neighborhood in West Calgary, I embarked on a shopping spree to my favorite local supermarket. Strikingly different from any California store, my favorite thing about Canadian supermarkets is the deli department. Unlike Americans who eat only the crappiest processed garbage lunch meats and usually go to Subway or Panera anyway, Canadian deli counters are a cornucopia of fabulous meats, cheeses, specialty items and olive bars. Thrilled to find that the store improved and remade itself into a sort of gourmet superstore, I decided to document all the delicious things I probably won’t see in Malaysia. And of course I bought lunch for the next few days. Ironically, McDonalds is running a promotion this month featuring “Canadian specialty sandwiches”‘ and this week’s is an Atlantic Canadian Lobster Roll. Stumbling on the same promotion for a limited time only, I saw one left at Sobeys and it was even two bucks cheaper than McDonalds.

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Just Another Spring Day

It was bound to happen. Anyone familiar with Western Canadian weather knows that even after two weeks of perfect summer-like conditions, the big change is right around the corner. Arriving in Calgary after a quick and easy drive down the highway known as the QE2, (named after the Queen which I never understood since nobody in Canada knows anything about royalty), we stopped for coffee and soaked up the 28 degree perfection. Almost willing to doubt the enormous provincial wide change in weather they’d been talking about for a week , I cringed at the thought of going from hot summer conditions to freezing rain, sleet, cold wind and two weeks of late winter crap. Hoping our last trip to Calgary during the holidays would be the last time in the cold, my memory of life in the Canadian prairies has apparently faded fast.

imageNaturally, as if to rub it in our faces that we had clothing only for suitable Malaysian heat and tropical humidity, we somehow time warped into another month, waking up to ominous dark clouds and a temperature fit for making snowmen. Never getting used to the insanely ridiculous weather changes associated with life in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, my body instantly revolted and went into a chilled state of confusion that continues today and probably won’t go away until we leave for Vancouver next week. While the rest of North America enjoys the last week of summer, we’ll be hopping in the car and retreating to the comfort of the warm cozy mall or hitting the gym for some fitness classes.


Although Edmonton has more summer festivals, most people know Calgary thanks to the world-famous Calgary Stampede. Easily the biggest event if the year, the annual rodeo, grandstand shows and carnival attracts thousands of tourists from around the world. Although businesses don’t technically shut down like Chinese New Year in Asian countries, most employees break out some casual western wear and many companies hold pancake breakfasts or other events to celebrate the event. Basically nothing gets done during Stampede Week and I learned from experience that the best time to do any business with the Federal Government is during Stampede Week when the offices are empty and the staff members are happy. Taking advantage of this, I brought my permanent residency application to the office in July, 2001, where a cheerful agent pulled it from a pile of dozens of others, giving me instant residency status and a welcome message of “Welcome to Canada”. Perhaps the fastest landed immigrant in the nation, it took less than two months to become an American expat in Canada

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Night and Day

Having spent a week in British Columbia and a week in Alberta, I’ve observed how different the two provinces are. Part of the problem with living in Canada is you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Aside from higher taxes in exchange for socialized health care, a GST that raises the price of your Starbucks latte by about 89 cents and the metric system that’s not completely used in consumer products, certain things are strikingly different depending on where you live in this enormous country. In the spirit of the now defunct David Letterman show, here’s my Top 10 List of differences between Alberta and British Columbia.

I shortened it a bit.

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Pickled Pigs Feet

Whoever said living at home with the in-laws is no fun obviously wasn’t married to an Asian whose father cooked for a living. Having now been in Edmonton for a week, Diane and I have reaped the benefits of living with parents that don’t mind house squatters. Enjoying the amenities, we’ve made some great progress towards getting settled and organized in Malaysia next month, albeit with a one month phone contract that provides hotspot access in this very unconnected internet-free home. With summer approaching, every day feels like two days with the light leaking through the window at about 4:45 AM and darkness setting in somewhere near midnight. Adjusting to “sleeping in” (anything past 6 for me) is difficult for someone used to a routine (what Diane calls “being anal”) but I’m trying to change my habits and prepare for a place where life only begins after sundown due to torrid heat and humidity.

imageReceiving excellent news the other day, we’re happy to report that our MM2H application has officially been bypassed for “selection of banking verification” a tedious process recently implemented by the Ministry that basically amounts to a triple check of information already provided in the application package. According to our agent, we can expect the approval letter to come through sometime around early August (it would normally be late July but that falls during a period of high holidays and we’re still getting used to the very un-American concept of business and industry shutting down for an entire week). Clearing the way for an early arrival to Penang  with expectations of an approval letter about a month later, we’ve decided to keep our plane reservations as-is and search for housing on a three-month tourist entry while the visa makes its way through the ministry’s red tape.

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Alberta Beef: almost worth the 9 month winter

Not long after we arrived in Edmonton, Diane’s father cooked steak for dinner. But Alberta beef is not just regular steak. Known worldwide for having some of the finest beef available, you know you’ve left the USA as soon as you take your first bite. While not readily available throughout North America mostly due to U.S.government protectionist policies and a huge beef industry lobby in Washington, Alberta is the premier place for beef lovers. Enjoyable in any form, even fast food burgers taste better when they use superior meat as the primary ingredient. Unsure if Malaysian beef tastes anything like this, Diane and I never object when her Dad feels like doing the cooking.

Ironically, Edmonton also has some of the best dim sum I’ve ever had and we always look forward to it. Coming from a metropolitan area with millions of Asians, it frustrated me not having one real Chinese restaurant for weekend dim sum anywhere less than a 60 minute drive away. Turning all Asian food into some sort of fake combination of Americanized slop with lots of corn starch and sugary sauces and calling it “fusion”, our old home town charged way too much money and removed all aspects of anything recognizable as authentic ethnic food. Expecting Malaysian Chinese to be delicious but probably quite different from North American style, we’ll enjoy the greasy deliciousness.

Over the weekend we went to watch my niece play in a soccer tournament that was here in Edmonton. Diane’s sister lives in Calgary, a three hour drive south and that’s also where we lived for six years when I was an American expat living in Canada. Not understanding anything at all about parental responsibilities, I watched from the sidelines along with various other moms and dads, cheering the occasional good play and yelled along with everyone else when they scored two goals. Entertaining enough, I can’t honesty say I’d rather be ten to fifteen years away from retirement because of child raising duties instead of heading off to Southeast Asia to live in a few weeks.

After the game we all went to a “Shanghai style” restaurant but it tasted more like canned food thrown together with some low quality meats and seafood that was probably caught about a year ago. Famous for dumplings, we ordered some and waited about 15 minutes for what appeared to look like the real thing but also tasted like they’d been prepared by a Latino kitchen staff member from any California casual restaurant. With no real taste, I lowered my expectations and the rest of the meal proved to be equally crappy. Fortunately, when you’re in Canada you use “Monopoly money” which always goes faster than when you’re actually playing the game but looks nice and takes the edge off how much everything costs in places with socialized healthcare. (Psychologically, anyway).


So far the weather has been changeable as it always in western Canada but it’s generally a nice time of year to spend some time. Having contacted our agent about the status of our visa, she has now somehow changed the expected time until approval from 12 to 15 weeks which means there’s almost no way we can wait it out here in Canada even with free rent at the Hotel Relative. Trying not to waste an immense amount of money we still think it makes sense to simply fly to Malaysia and at least attempt to familiarize ourselves with the country even if we can’t get a bank account or a place to live (Our banker said we can open an account with passports despite not having the MM2H approval yet but our agent seems to have her own set of mysterious rules that I’m having trouble understanding or verifying).

imageToday, however, is one of those mornings where you appreciate Canadian living with bright blue sunny skies and a perfect temperature hovering around 16 (Celsius of course). Adapting to 17 hours of daylight is often interesting  and when it’s nice out, it feels like two days combined in one when the sun comes up at 5 AM and the darkness doesn’t set in until almost midnight. Taking advantage while we can, I’d planned a trip to Elk Island National Park since the Yahoo weather icon showed the most sun today. Thirty five minutes from Edmonton, the park features herds of bison roaming free and always makes for some fun pictures. Naturally, when I returned from my morning walk and made Diane her morning pot of coffee, the skies changed to overcast and the wind started whipping. Utilizing Plan B , we took the eight minute drive to Whitemud Nature Reserve which feels more like the country than the city and took a 90 minute hike.

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Obviously not as interesting as large bison, we still enjoyed the serenity and did see beaver dams (but no beavers),  chipmunks, squirrels, warblers and some chickadees. A small snake made his way past me but I was too slow to snap a photo on my small crappy phone.  Needing to use all our Starbucks card credits that Diane believes will be useless in Asia, we headed to the mall and I noticed a new strange-looking sculpture. Hoping to document as much Canadiana as possible on the blog before heading to Asia, I also noticed a sign you find all over Canada but nowhere in America telling you where you meet should there be an emergency.  Since there are no oceans or earthquakes in Alberta, I’m not sure what type of incident they expect but hopefully it’s nothing major. (There was once a destructive tornado in Edmonton  caught everyone off guard).

Hopefully we’ll hear back from our relationship manager at HSBC shortly about the banking before MM2H approval issue and then we’ll decide where to squat for the rest of June.  Thinking we need one last trip to real mountains, we may head to Waterton Lakes, an International Park shared by both Canada and the USA. Known as Glacier National Park on the much more heavily visited American side, it’s a fabulous uncrowned park with beautiful trails and lakes.

imageDiane’s friend said she can dispose of our vehicle with the check engine light that never goes off so we may wind up driving back to Vancouver as it’s cheaper than flying. North American air travel is slowly becoming for the élite only with fees from everything to choosing your seat online to an extra fifty bucks for having the audacity to contact a real human being for customer service.  Entering June, we still don’t feel like Experimental Expats yet but we are enjoying our time in western Canada. Appreciating all the views and new followers, we once again thank anyone who takes the time to follow our journey.

Cheers from Edmonton, Alberta; home of the once proud hockey team that featured Wayne Gretzky but hasn’t been to the playoffs in eight years.

We love all comments and questions on Alberta beef and anything else Canadian.