While perfectly willing to undergo a cultural transformation of the highest degree when we move to Malaysia in a few months, I’d be lying if I said I won’t miss North American sports. Fortunately, America’s proudest moment and shining star of entertainment worldwide has become Super Bowl Sunday. Watching the event morph from the championship game of a once great sports league into a worldwide showcase of glitz, glamour and multi-million dollar marketing often makes me sad and longing for simpler times. Fortunately, one aspect of my childhood will return. Long before Katy Perry was born they played the game early on a Sunday afternoon like any other game.
Starting next year and thanks to the curvature of planet Earth as well as the concept of live television, Diane and I can finally skip the ten hours of pregame crap, wake up and flick on the game at 7:30 AM on Monday morning. Bidding a fond hello from yesterday to those reading from anywhere in Asia, Diane and I welcome you to the primary entertainment showcase of the year. For the record, we cheer for Seattle. But this day is not really about football in America. Basically a national holiday for the over-consumption of beer, junk food, and all the other crap that makes America’s population the world’s biggest collection of Type Two Diabetes candidates, Super Bowl Sunday is a uniquely American institution.
Wishing to highlight the positive side of a supposedly multi-cultural nation, I wanted to dedicate this post to diversity, gastronomically speaking that is. Showing that all Americans come together and snack for one day regardless of race, creed or ethic background seemed like a good way to highlight the often criticized American food pallet. Sadly, as I browsed through Costco (America’s version of Tesco), it occurred to me that shifting demographics changed Corporate America’s version of what flavors Americans want. Unlike the vast array of ethnic flavors available for Canadian snack consumers like dill pickle, curry, Perogy, maple syrup, poutine and garlic Caesar, Americans only need to make one simple choice:
What food would you prefer your jalapeño flavoring on?
Having hijacked the entire gamut, executives with privileged lives somehow decided that every flavored food product needs to be dedicated to the largest group of new consumers. Hence, my recent trip for our last Super Bowl meal in America food turned up the following:
1) Sausage (main course)
2) Ingredients to go with the main course
3) Dip (to go with the snack food)
4) Dip Mix (in case the first dip didn’t taste very good)
5) Starch (to accompany the main course)
6) Healthier choice dip (for the guilt)
Are you starting to see the trend? Not wanting to miss one second of the twelve-hour dribble they begin showing at daybreak, I thought perhaps dinner would be easier using a slow-cooker. Offering lots of convenient pre-made sauces for beef, chicken and even shrimp, check out the wonderful array of sauces made available for my American feast. Would you like tacos or peanut flavored mole?
In the interest of full disclosure and journalistic integrity, I would like to stress that not everything sold at large discount warehouse stores in America is unhealthy. Simply look for the area of the store with the fewest customers and you’ll know you’ve arrived. If you’ve followed the blog you know I’ve worked hard in the gym and used my long year as a laid-off House Husband to get fit and healthy. Pictured below is my breakfast on Super Bowl Sunday below and Diane and I followed it up with a a 90 minute workout at the gym.
Offering my Super Bowl commentary, I believe somebody needs to explain that “multi-cultural” does not mean changing the flavor of everything in a nation to accommodate the latest influx of consumers that happen to be mostly immigrants from one part of the world. Understanding my choices in Penang will be largely varied, I’m hoping that for the Fiftieth anniversary of America’s Largest Media Event, I can generate a Super Bowl breakfast party with fifteen different ethic tastes all included in one meal but I do believe I’ll bypass the Habanero Mexican Dining Restaurant in Queensbay Mall.
Happy Super Bowl !!
To any expats residing in Southeast Asia:
Where can we watch The Super Bowl? What kind of food can we eat? Does anyone care? Please comment or share !!!